Intoxicated
by Sandy O'Neill
Summary: When Cassie runs away with Dinah, Edmund drowns his sorrows in the bottle, among other things... Edmund's POV. PWP. Please R&R!


I sit down at the bar and order a drink. The strongest one that they have. It burns my throat on the way down, but that's ok. It's not like I've never done this before. Used the drink to drown my sorrows. It's what I need right now. And I need it bad. I can't believe that she did this to me. I can't believe that they did this. I guess that I should've taken the hint when she moved in with her worst enemy but kicked me out of the house. I guess that I should've taken the hint when she stopped treating her like her worst enemy. I guess that I should've taken the hint that night that I walked in to find them curled up, asleep in each others arms on the couch. I guess that I just should've taken the hint. And what the hell was I thinking? It's not like I'm destitute. I have money. I could've easily paid someone to carry my baby. Our baby. I could've easily paid someone. Someone who wasn't… Psycho… Fucking… Crazy… I could've paid someone. But I didn't. I didn't think. I don't think. I never think. I have people on this. They will find them. They will track them down. Or I'll do it myself. But right now. I just need to drink. She had the right to leave me. But not with my baby. It's not just her baby. It's my baby too. And I love that baby. It's what I've wanted for so long. A baby. With the woman that I love. A baby. Our baby. My baby. I will find them. I will. I try to quiet my thoughts. I try to drown out the voices in my head with the alcohol, but it just isn't working. I need more. And more. And more. The room is beginning to spin. But I need more. The room is already spinning. But I need more. I drink. And I drink. And I drink. Alone in my thoughts. Alone in my sorrow. Alone in my grief. And then suddenly I realize that I'm not so alone anymore. I hear the clink of her bottle hitting the bar. And feel delicate fingers stroking my own. I feel her hand enclosing around mine. And I hurry to finish my drink. She pulls on my hand. And I follow where she leads. She takes me to her hotel room. I knew that I chose this place for a reason. She locks the door behind herself and kisses me hard on the mouth. The room is still spinning. But I barely notice it. She leads me to the bed and kisses me again. And that's when I hear the phone ringing. She ignores it. Ring. After ring. After ring. After ring. She ignores it. And that's when the answering machine picks up. The voice sounds faint. The voice sounds distant. The voice sounds apologetic. The voice sounds familiar. It's Sandy's voice. It's Sandy's voice on the answering machine. But she ignores it. "I'm sorry Tammy… I never meant to hurt you… I really wish that I would've told you sooner…" And suddenly she is pulling away from me and running over to the phone. I wonder if she is going to answer it. I want her to answer it. I don't want her to answer it. She pulls out the phone cord and throws the answering machine against the wall. A sound leaves her lips. It's almost like a growl, but more anguished. She turns to look at me, her hair falling over the side of her face. There are tears in her eyes. Sad tears about Sandy. And it's only when I see them rolling down her cheeks that it hits me. Mine never stopped. There are tears in my eyes. Sad tears about Cassie and the baby. She moves back over to me, her lips on my ear. "Just because I was with Sandy doesn't mean that I ever stopped wanting you…" And suddenly I realize that this isn't about me. This is about Sandy. And suddenly I realize that this isn't about her. This is about Cassie. And suddenly I feel her lips on mine again and for a moment I'm powerless to resist. Her hands find the buttons on my shirt and move it off of me. Her lips travel down my chest. They feel so good against my bare skin. A light moan escapes me. It feels so good. I can't stop this. I can't stop this. I can't stop this. I don't want to stop this. I have to stop this. I push her away in an awkward moment of clarity. My hand strokes the side of her face as I stare into her eyes. I wipe her tears away, but more only continue to fall. What the hell am I doing? I can't do this. This is wrong. I can't do this. She grabs my hand and pulls it from her face, her fingers intertwining with my own. "Tammy, we ca…" And suddenly my voice is cut off by the feel of her lips on mine again. This is wrong. I can't do this. This is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong. But, Jesus Christ, it feels so goddamned right. My fingers find the buttons on her blouse and pull it from her, my hands moving to the skin on her back as I unhook her bra and throw it to the ground. There's a voice in the back of my head. Telling me to stop. Telling me that this is wrong. Telling me that she doesn't really want this. Telling me that I don't really want this. But, God, how I do want this. God, how I've wanted this for so long. God, how I've wanted to do this for so long but never could… Because it was forbidden. Because this is wrong. Because… I can't do this. But I can do this. I will do this. I want this. I need this. I want her. I need her. I need. I need. I need. I just need to stop thinking. Her hands are on my pants again. I still them momentarily before her mouth finds my neck, her teeth scraping against my skin. As if by instinct she knows the perfect place to kiss. The place that drives me wild. The place that makes me crazy. She nibbles at it softly, and I take it as a sign. I move my hands from hers and help her get my pants off before pulling off her own. I curl my fingers under the waistband of her panties and pull them off of her. Her hands find my boxers and I'm quickly rid of them. My hands move over her body. Intoxicated by her scent. Needing to touch every last inch of her skin. She pushes me onto my back almost roughly, her body moving over mine as she straddles me. Her lips graze me, teasing me for a moment. But she needs this as badly as I do and it's not long before I feel her heat taking me in. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. She is just… So hot. So wet. So tight. I don't remember anyone ever being this tight. Oh God. She is just… So good. She moans loudly, her head thrown back as she starts to ride me. I let her set the pace, thrusting up against her movements in perfect rhythm. My hands are on her legs as her body moves above me. God, she looks so beautiful like this. Her body dripping with sweat. Her breasts swaying with every movement that she makes as she brings me closer and closer. My hands move up her thighs to grip her hips as I start to thrust into her harder. I'm setting the rhythm now, and she moves so beautifully to keep up with it. I know that she is close. I can feel it. I want to see her cumming above me. And yet I want this to last forever. God, how badly I wish that this moment could just last forever. I move into her even harder and faster, my fingers bruising her hips as she screams out in ecstasy. She throws her head back further as she screams out my name. "Edmund! Edmund! Ed! Mund!" The sound fills my ears as I finally feel her body tightening around me in climax. I groan as she squeezes me, the contractions around my hard cock enough to push me over the edge. Her name leaves my lips as a groan from low in my throat. "Ta! Mmy!" And suddenly she is collapsed on top of me. I can feel her breath, hot against my ear. I can hear her panting as my arms enclose around her. She moves off of me and I struggle just to breathe. I pull her close again, my lips finding her velvet mouth just one last time. She moans softly against me as I kiss her. And that's when I have to pull away again just to breathe. My eyes lock onto hers as we both pant. And suddenly I realize that this isn't about Sandy. This is about me. And suddenly I realize that this isn't about Cassie. This is about her. I move my hand to gently stroke the side of her face as a soft smile crosses my own. There are tears in her eyes. Happy tears about me. There are tears in my eyes. Happy tears about her. But then again, maybe it's just the alcohol…


End file.
